[There were a couple people who didn’t get the joke — and many, many who did. For those who missed it, this post appeared on April 1.]

Happy New Mainframe Day, everyone! It’s always an exciting day when IBM introduces a new mainframe model, and today IBM’s engineers have really outdone themselves. It’s a huge surprise. Nobody expected a new mainframe model in April, 2014, but since this month is the 50th anniversary of the announcement of the IBM System/360, why not? Here are some of the highlights:

1. IBM’s latest and newest machine, announced today, is the zEnterprise XC1313 (or zXC1313 for short). IBM isn’t saying explicitly, but my sources tell me that the XC refers to “eXtreme Cloud,” and the 1313 refers to the number of physical cores inside a single machine. (More on that in a moment.) IBM describes this machine as best exemplifying “the world’s loftiest cloud available for enterprise cloud-centric, cloud computing-oriented, extreme cloud environments.”

2. Holy sh**, look at the cloud speed! The previous record holder was IBM’s own zEC12 at an industry leading 5.5 GHz. This machine clocks in at a jaw dropping 6.66 GHz. That’s 6.66 GHz continuous, round the clock. To achieve this unprecedented clock speed parts of the machine are carved from diamond, literally. There are more diamonds in one zXC1313 than in an average De Beers vault. Also, IBM had to shorten the wiring between processor components, so the designers incorporated new “club sandwich” chip stacking architecture. I leave it to you to decide which parts are bacon, lettuce, and tomato. My sources tell me no there’s no mayonnaise in this model, but that might be a future innovation if they can figure out how to spread the mayo at nanometer levels of precision.

3. The zXC1313 allows customers to configure up to 513 cores in practically any desired combination, not counting the spares (increased to a mandatory minimum 4), SAPs, integrated firmware, and other “reserve” cores. IBM has introduced new 2XX and 3XX sub-capacity general purpose processor configurations to provide greater configuration flexibility, and PCI ratings (“MIPS”) now range from 113 (a bit more than twice the zBC12’s minimum) all the way up to well over 250,000. The exact maximum PCI figure is still being calculated at this writing, according to my reliable sources, though a major German software vendor (not SAP) has already announced they’ll be relying on Gartner’s MIPS figure of 298,682 unless Cheryl Watson publishes an even higher number. Clock speed and the 5X increase in the number of cores account for much but not all of the capacity improvement.

4. A substantial amount of performance improvement is related to the 44 new processor instructions IBM added to this model — incidentally a lucky number throughout Asia. Among the new instructions are CICX and IMSX. CICX is a single instruction that can perform the work of an entire CICS transaction, and likewise IMSX does the same for certain IMS transactions. An IBM press release quotes a pilot customer, State Bank of India, as being able to run an average of 48% of their banking transactions (by volume) in the form of that single CICX processor instruction. I haven’t been able to review the 238 pages in IBM’s updated “Principles of Operation” describing CICX (and the 241 pages describing IMSX) yet, but I expect to do that over the next few days. C/C++, Java, Enterprise PL/I, Assembler, and FORTRAN compiler support for the new CICX and IMSX instructions will be generally available later this month. No word yet on Enterprise COBOL exploitation.

5. The zXC1313 now supports a maximum of 61 LPARs (partitions). That’s up. Simultaneously IBM announced z/VM Version 7, exclusively available for the zXC1313 (and presumably successor models), if you want to divide up your machine further.

6. Yes, there’s a “technology dividend.” IBM says that for the average customer it’ll be like getting the 13th month free every year. Who says IBM doesn’t have a sense of humor?

7. Memory, memory, memory, memory. Now you can have up to 4 TB of usable RAIM-protected memory, less a reserved 32 GB high storage area (HSA). Luckily that’s up, too.

8. The physical packaging is a bit different this time around. The base configuration is equivalent in physical size and other data center considerations to the zEC12, and that base size spans up to 244 cores. To get up to the 513 core maximum IBM adds an expansion frame making the total machine about 50% larger than the zEC12. The expansion frame is available in attractive, contrasting cabinet colors selected by the world famous Italian fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana. For the first time ever one of the available “colors” is “Diamante Trasparente” (transparent diamond), meaning you can see through the case to observe all the parts inside. None of those parts actually move — at least they’re not supposed to — but Sig. Gabbana thought it was a good idea.

9. In keeping with the 50th anniversary spirit, as a limited time promotion IBM is offering specially priced direct model upgrades to the zXC1313 from nearly all System/360, System/370, System/390, zSeries, System z, zEnterprise, and even “compatible” mainframes such as those from Amdahl and Hitachi. Yes, even the IBM PC XT/370 qualifies. IBM will swap as many parts as required to bring your older machine up to zXC1313 specification. Rumor has it that IBM field engineers are being trained now to operate on-site gold smelting equipment. There are three model exceptions, though: customers with IBM System/360 Models 60, 62, and 70 are not eligible to participate in the direct upgrade promotion.

10. Sure enough, there are no more zAAPs. zIIPs have taken over, as IBM said would happen. HP’s printer ink division has filed a lawsuit against IBM in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Texas alleging interference in the consumption of printer ink as a consequence of the retirement of zAAPs (and associated documentation), but IBM says the lawsuit is without merit. IBM’s lead counsel says that IBM will demonstrate that the letter I, not the letter A, has been a favored part of IBM corporate naming for decades, predating the introduction of the first System/360.

It’s a great day to be alive — er, living — isn’t it?

Posted in IBM.